Turning 40

A week ago today, I celebrated the 40th anniversary of causing my parents to drive to the hospital in the middle of the night and forcing my mother to be undressed in an elevator as they rushed her to a delivery room.  Time of birth: 3:57 AM.  I’d have hung that over my kids’ heads for the rest of their lives if they’d pulled that on us, just as my mother has hung it over mine.

Anyway, I’m 40 now.  That’s supposed to be a big deal, and not in a good way.  They make a lot of black decorations sporting cheesy slogans like “Over the Hill” and “Lordy Lordy Look Who’s Forty” because everyone seems to think it’s important to remind people who turn forty that they are now officially old.  Your 30’s are gone for good, and you’re now in the years where you will lose hair on your head and gain it on your back.  You’re an official cranky old person when you turn forty, or so goes the conventional wisdom.

But see, I turned 40 and nothing else happened.  Nothing.  I didn’t suddenly become depressed or morose at the realization that I probably have fewer years left to live than I’ve already enjoyed.  I didn’t become filled with a desire to buy a sportscar, or trade in my wife on a younger model.  I didn’t find a few thousand extra gray hairs on my head, or dark hairs in my sink.  I wasn’t magically filled with a desire to wear slacks to a ballgame, or drive a Ford Crown Victoria, or eat at a buffet.  As near as I can tell, “The Essential Stevie Ray Vaughan“ on my MP3 player was not mysteriously replaced with “Frank Sinatra: Nothing But the Best“. 

So cheer up all you 39-year olds out there, because it seems to me that the people making a fuss over turning forty are the people who haven’t done it yet.  Maybe I’m the exception to the rule, but I just don’t see this as being a big deal.  At all.  When your family and friends ask you if turning forty bothers you, tell them the same thing I told mine: 

“I’d rather turn forty than not.”

Hunting For An Answer

I don’t hunt.  I don’t have anything against people who do hunt, I suppose,  but it’s never been anything I’ve wanted to do.  So it’s entirely possible that I’m just completely uninformed on the following subject.  Any clarification that could be provided would be greatly appreciated.

Going Postal

I just found out that there is no official motto of the United States Postal Service. I always thought there was, namely the famous, “Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, etc.” motto that we hear quoted so often. Turns out that one was taken from a description of the Persian Empire’s courier service found in Herodotus’ Histories. At least, that’s what it says on Wikipedia.

Notes From the Road

Okay, just got back from lovely Armonk, NY again.  I spend so much time there that I sometimes feel that I might as well buy a second home there.  Then I realized that the median home value in Armonk is almost $1.5 million, and that thought went away.  Permanently.

Engagement Agreements

Prepare yourself for some boring office banter.  My boss, a genuinely nice guy, but pretty much over his head in his current position, comes to my desk yesterday and the following conversation ensues.  I swear, this is actually how the conversation happened, to the best of my recollection.

Toronto Impressions

This has been my first trip to Toronto, and it’s left a favorable impression. 

Some Brief Notes

Just a few quick thoughts, none of which is worth a full post all by itself:

Quick Baseball Rant

Pardon me for sliding into a bit of baseball minutiae for a moment, but Trey Hillman, the manager of the Kansas City Royals, just did something that I believe to be really stupid.  He just ordered a sacrifice bunt.

More Inefficient Processes

As I’ve said before, we just moved into a new home.  That, of course, involves a great many steps, almost all of which involve other people.  Whenever that occurs, you’re bound to come across a few folks who are in need of some revamped work processes.  For instance:

Delta, Delta, Delta

I mentioned in my last post that I recently spent a week in Armonk, New York for work.  The return trip from that little sojournis something I simply must document for posterity.  The reason for my trip to our North American headquarters was to attend one of those godforsaken week-long seminars with 12-hour working sessions every day followed by team dinners every night.  It left me with no time to blog, so today I’ll play catch up.  (The trip also left me wit no time to call my family, get a good night’s sleep, or go to the bathroom with any kind of regularity either, but I will mercifully spare you from those details.)